I can't read anymore, it's is making me want to throw my kindle across the room.
This book needs an editor. I am struggling to make sense of a lot of the sentences. There are sentences that are 7 lines long with commas galore. Sentences that are 7 lines long with no commas at all. There are missing commas resulting in the good old "let's eat grandma" effect, and sentences that just make no damn sense at all. For example, and these are just a few of many highlights in the first 15%...
1. I spoke through flattened lips, past my neck in which a vein was pulsing and engorged.
2. Most likely here the doctors and nurse would be of goodwill, although not always.
3. I glanced at the redhead curling my fingers to scrape my hair back.
4. Her dark hair was just the same as it had always been, her hair part poking through amongst the mess her mouth set in a grimace, accepting all that was barely tolerable.
5. Long, straw-colored hair, fell across her face, her wrists were tied, and through her mouth, gagged with duct tape, she was struggling to make some semblance of noise.
There's no flow at all...
“Hey, Gyp, saw you get a business card. Geez doesn’t take you long, girl. Hope you wore matching undies tonight.” Rita swigged down half a glass of wine in one gulp. Her narrow face was mocking me. She rolled her eyes as she set her wine glass on the shelf, and then pushed her hands out to warm them at the open fire. “Piss off, Rita, jealousy makes you ugly.” I lowered my chin to look at her, my feet apart in a fighting stance. Then, letting it go, I turned to Chloe, who was struggling not to show her delight."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that it's so frustrating to read, or the fact that I showed a few examples to my hubby and he didn't see anything wrong lol.